Hello, friends and family!
This week was pretty great. We had an awesome combined zone conference and I got to see a lot of my mission friends, including Elder Peck and Elder Simmons, whom I was really excited to see. Elder Paul B. Pieper from the Quorum of the 70 visited us and took up several hours of the meeting, teaching us about preparing with the Spirit, hope, priesthood keys, helping investigators answer their own questions to strengthen their relationship with God, working with church leaders, finding the "elect" (those who "hear [God's] voice and harden not their hearts" [Doctrine & Covenants 29:7]), and the importance of the qualifications for baptism. He taught so many great things that I wish I could start my mission over again so that I could apply all the new things I learned. But I guess I felt the same way when Marlin K. Jensen, Elder Holland, and Bro. Watson and Bro. Wade from the missionary department came and spoke to us. I've come to learn that no matter how experienced or knowledgeable you think you might be as a missionary (and probably everything else in life), you can always learn more... a lot more. I love having that experience as I read the Book of Mormon over and over and learn something each time. I also see it as I teach investigators; I don't know why I'm still surprised when someone receives a miracle or experiences conversion. I look back at all the times where the hand of God has been present throughout my mission and am humbled as I realize that even though I've been a missionary for almost a year and a half that I still have so much faith to gain. While my faith isn't perfect, I do know that God loves His children because I have seen over and over again that He blesses those who come unto Him and calls to those who haven't started on the path just yet. Isn't it great?... The gospel is so, so true! :)
One great experience we had was the opportunity to meet for the first time with Dan, a new investigator. We were told by a missionary who served here about a year ago that he would be someone we might be able to help accept the gospel. It turns out that Dan already believes the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that Joseph Smith saw what he said he saw. I asked him why he hasn't been baptized, then, and he kind of skirted around the question and said a whole lot of nothing in particular. It was easy to discern that he didn't quite understand the magnitude of the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so we taught him all about it and why it's so important. He seemed to understand it pretty well, and he said he would be baptized once he knows in his heart that what we taught is true. However, when we invited him to be baptized on a specific date, he told us a few understandable reasons why he wouldn't commit to a date. It will be hard to see where it all will go from here because of the nature of his excuses, but if I know anything about the gospel, it can change his hearts and resolve any concern that he might have.
One sad thing that happened this week was we got a text from Amber's husband, Luke, saying that things are really busy for them with her pregnancy, work, and the issues concerning the custody of her son, and that they will keep coming to church but they want to stop meeting with us and she will let us know when she's ready to be baptized. We are really concerned because 1) they haven't been to church in 6 weeks or more (including yesterday's meetings), 2) we know that if they make God a priority in their lives than He will make sure everything works out well for her, 3) they never told us about their concerns and we could have easily started meeting with them less frequently, 4) it doesn't sound at all like something Amber would say because she has loved meeting with us, and 5) we can't get a hold of either Amber of Luke on the phone and they won't respond to our texts or phone calls. All we can really do at this point is pray for them to change their minds or at least call us back so we can testify that God will help her if she puts Him first. Please pray for them!
Another sad thing is that I found out that I will be coming home on February 6th for medical reasons again. My back has been feeling much better, but my hip has been getting rapidly worse and the weird shooting pains have come back hard. At first I was pretty upset. It felt like we're just going back to the drawing board. My 2 1/2 months back in Utah were really difficult and super frustrating and I don't want to do it all again. I was sad that there is a high risk that I won't be able to come back again even if I do get better. I felt very unprepared for what comes after mission life. I didn't want to leave the people I've come to love so much here. And actually, not much of that has changed.
I still feel unprepared, scared, sad, and frustrated at times, but I have learned so much over the last three years that God sometimes throws curve-balls at us. From my years of playing baseball I have learned that curve-balls are hard to hit. They look like they're going to hit you right in the face and break your nose. But when you can see that it's a curve-ball coming---not just a wild ball thrown by a bad pitcher---you know that it's going to end up in the strike zone. It takes a lot of faith to not only jump out of the batter's box but to stay in and swing. What if the pitcher doesn't really know what he's doing after all? What if I get a black eye or one of my teeth gets knocked out? It can be hard to take that swing, but if you remember who the pitcher is and trust that the ball will curve into the strike zone, it is likely that you'll hit it. I have learned that God is a perfect pitcher, and sometimes He throws us curveballs because He knows that we'll never improve as batters if He only feeds us fastballs right over the plate. He knows that our faith won't grow if we give up and dive out of the batters box... especially when we might strike out because we didn't have the courage to stick around and see where the ball would end up.
God is a just God and He doesn't hold back trials from anyone. Whether you're batting 1.000 or it seems like all you can hit are fouls, or even if you strike out everytime, God will give us trials from time to time because He knows that it will help us to grow. I testify that God loves us! I know that. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins so that He would know how to help us. If life were easy, we wouldn't need the Savior. I testify that we do need Him, and that if we come unto Him He will always bless us with peace and comfort, even if our difficulties linger. As our pain lingers, His pain lingers. It is worth it to Him to personally go through even more pain so that He can provide us with opportunities to grow and become more like Him.
I am grateful for your prayers and support that have been on my behalf for the last many months. Thank you!
With love,
Elder Schank
